I Am The Other Person
Being in love with someone who is already in a relationship can be a complicated and painful experience. You may be struggling with lies, betrayal, guilt - and the judgement of others. I believe everyone deserves to find true love and happiness, and I offer a safe and confidential space in which to explore your feelings, and help you to determine if this relationship is a healthy choice for you.
We cannot always control who we fall in love with, and sometimes, we fall in love with the "wrong" person.
Sometimes, we do it knowingly, and other times... unwittingly, because we have been deceived, and by the time we discover the truth, it's too late and we've fallen head over heels.
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Some people seek out unavailable partners, without really understanding why we choose that path. Psychologists attribute this to patterns formed in our childhoods; replicating the chaos and unpredictability of an absent or inconsistent parent. We are drawn to what we know, to what literally feels like home, and so we go through life believing that our only pathway to love and affection is through tolerating a non-committal, part-time relationship.
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Others of us are drawn to danger; to the thrill of the chase of the forbidden fruit. The quest, the hunt, the pursuit - these are the real rewards; it's an adrenaline rush to try to conquer something we've been told we cannot have. We repeat this cycle in our relationships; a committed, loyal and consistent partnership fails to make us content, and the challenge to seduce someone already in a relationship feels like the holy grail.
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And some of us just can't help falling in love, or lust, with someone we can't have. The more unavailable they are, the more we romanticise them in our heads. We fail to see the ugliness of their infidelity; and overlook the hurt they are capable of causing. Instead we are swept up by flattery and charm, awed that they have chosen us. Maybe we do it through love, loneliness, low self esteem, or simpy low supply chain issues, but someone already in a relationship may not always be a positive emotional investment for our long term happiness.
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If you have found yourself in this situation, you may be feeling isolated - unable to confide in friends or family about your relationship. Unable to seek advice or comfort from those whom you would normally trust. You may be in a relationship that, if discovered, would not only destroy your partner's life, but possibly your own as well.
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If you have an emotional bond with someone who has not, cannot, and probably will not commit to you, and you would like some coaching to either find comfort, or to move on from this situation, then I can help.
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I offer a safe, non-judgemental and completely confidential space in which to explore your feelings, and to help you plan for the next steps towards a happier, healthier and stronger outlook on your relationships.